We've stayed in quite a few caravan parks and camp sites over the last couple of months, and I've started to notice a few things that seem to suggest that there are some unwritten rules for staying at these places. Unwritten until now, that is.

Everyone else on site will be better prepared and better equipped than you. It's a fact. No matter what extras you might carry, someone a couple of plots down will still have have more. Utensil envy is rife.

When you first park, the distance between the power supply and your van's power socket will be precisely 2 inches longer than the inadequate power lead that you own.

On the hottest evenings, you will be parked next to someone with a very flashy van that's equipped with an air-con unit. It will be facing you, blowing out hot air and taunting you with its efficient hum.